Running Yourself Ragged FROM Reality

J: “You can’t barrel your way through life non-stop trying to avoid it—you are literally hurting yourself.”

I got injured at the gym this week. It was due to a wandering mind, innocent carelessness and improper form; all of which are bound to happen from time to time. As a yoga teacher, I know these things. Injuries happen, mistakes happen, set-backs HAPPEN…but the sadness and prickly feelings of failure that directly ensued said mishap really took me by surprise.

At first it seemed like a natural let down, citing the immediate “well that sucks” repercussions:

-          Guess I should sit out this part.

-          Man, I think I have to skip the WOD.

-          Okay, I stretched…now why isn’t it better?

But soon enough, without my permission, this whole thing went Kamikaze:

-          You were doing so well, what’s wrong with you?

-          It was only a matter of time until you failed.

-          Think of all you’re going to miss.

Yet, my mind was determined to keep up the façade. Without acknowledging this emotional turmoil, I blamed the discomfort of the car ride home completely on the injury and probably made things worse. It wasn’t until I was giving Jaclyn the heads up on what had happened that I unknowingly let the truth slip out.

                J: “Ok. NOW do you think you’ll take a rest?!”

R: “It’s hard…it’s just the one place (right now) where I feel in control, I excel, and I’m encouraged; I tend not to worry about things when I’m working out.”

Wow.

Just wow.

It hit me like a slap in the face after it came out. These days, physical activity is so much more to me than just a workout, mainly for the good…but sometimes for the bad. As stress has mounted, plans have fallen through, and life has decided to keep me on my toes, I have thrown myself into the one thing that I know I can control. Instead of facing some financial issues, I pushed through my squat set. Instead of picking up where we fell off on the “home hunt,” I practiced my double under. And instead of taking charge of what I really want right now…I got hurt.

J: “You are loved and treasured by your closest friends and family and supported. You are remarkable.”

I know what you’re saying: “But Rachel, you always say that exercise can be a stress reliever!” Yes it is! That’s why you need a trainer/friend/Pretty-Girl to keep you in line. There is proper form in the movement, and then there is proper form in the mindset.

My prescription: start taking my own advice. Let the workout be my “happy place” because it’s good FOR ME, not good to DISTRACT me. I love the sweat, the hard work, the camaraderie, and the results because they make me a stronger, better, more responsible person. Losing sight of that--even for a moment--has me sitting the bench…

Guess this gives me time to take a few deep breaths, and maybe work through a few of those worries.

(Thanks, Jaclyn.)

xoxox, Rachel