Running Yourself Ragged FROM Reality

J: “You can’t barrel your way through life non-stop trying to avoid it—you are literally hurting yourself.”

I got injured at the gym this week. It was due to a wandering mind, innocent carelessness and improper form; all of which are bound to happen from time to time. As a yoga teacher, I know these things. Injuries happen, mistakes happen, set-backs HAPPEN…but the sadness and prickly feelings of failure that directly ensued said mishap really took me by surprise.

At first it seemed like a natural let down, citing the immediate “well that sucks” repercussions:

-          Guess I should sit out this part.

-          Man, I think I have to skip the WOD.

-          Okay, I stretched…now why isn’t it better?

But soon enough, without my permission, this whole thing went Kamikaze:

-          You were doing so well, what’s wrong with you?

-          It was only a matter of time until you failed.

-          Think of all you’re going to miss.

Yet, my mind was determined to keep up the façade. Without acknowledging this emotional turmoil, I blamed the discomfort of the car ride home completely on the injury and probably made things worse. It wasn’t until I was giving Jaclyn the heads up on what had happened that I unknowingly let the truth slip out.

                J: “Ok. NOW do you think you’ll take a rest?!”

R: “It’s hard…it’s just the one place (right now) where I feel in control, I excel, and I’m encouraged; I tend not to worry about things when I’m working out.”

Wow.

Just wow.

It hit me like a slap in the face after it came out. These days, physical activity is so much more to me than just a workout, mainly for the good…but sometimes for the bad. As stress has mounted, plans have fallen through, and life has decided to keep me on my toes, I have thrown myself into the one thing that I know I can control. Instead of facing some financial issues, I pushed through my squat set. Instead of picking up where we fell off on the “home hunt,” I practiced my double under. And instead of taking charge of what I really want right now…I got hurt.

J: “You are loved and treasured by your closest friends and family and supported. You are remarkable.”

I know what you’re saying: “But Rachel, you always say that exercise can be a stress reliever!” Yes it is! That’s why you need a trainer/friend/Pretty-Girl to keep you in line. There is proper form in the movement, and then there is proper form in the mindset.

My prescription: start taking my own advice. Let the workout be my “happy place” because it’s good FOR ME, not good to DISTRACT me. I love the sweat, the hard work, the camaraderie, and the results because they make me a stronger, better, more responsible person. Losing sight of that--even for a moment--has me sitting the bench…

Guess this gives me time to take a few deep breaths, and maybe work through a few of those worries.

(Thanks, Jaclyn.)

xoxox, Rachel

Finding Yoga in your CrossFit

“Research shows that the two types of individuals most prone to injury are individuals who are too flexible and individuals that are too tight. The first causes laxity in the joint, the latter causes problems such as loss of range of motion and pulling of the musculature on the skeletal structure causing improper alignment. With that said, I would recommend an individual supplement CrossFit with a yoga practice about twice a week. More for those who are naturally more rigid and tight as these individuals are more prone to injury.” – Megan Combies, CrossFit and Yoga coach in Santa Cruz, CA¹

The first two limbs [of yoga] that Patanjali describes are the fundamental ethical precepts called yamas, and the niyamas. These can also be looked at as universal morality and personal observances.²

***

When people look at me, I presume the last thing they are thinking is, “oh yeah, that chick’s a yoga teacher,” or “that girl definitely does CrossFit.”  And I guarantee that no one is thinking both. Well, well, well, don’t you feel sheepish.

YAMA - Satya: Truthfulness; non-telling of lies. Satya guides us toward truthfulness of thought, truthfulness of speech, and truthfulness in deed.

The Background

I’m loud, spastic, buxom, and clumsy with a penchant to get feisty once you’ve got me going. I have a background in yogic philosophy, which at times will cool me down, but I firmly believe in the here and now. I don’t practice yoga to change that fact—it’s rare that you’ll find me as a silent sister in lotus position for very long—but I use it to bring out the absolute best in the eclectic chaos that is Me (ie. giggling with my students in Happy Baby Pose). It’s through this self-aware yoga practice that I was confronted with the need (read: burning desire!) for more strength in my life: strength of body, strength of purpose, and strength of heart. Enter: CrossFit and my passion to prove to the world that Yogis and CrossFitters are squatting for the same higher purpose!

The “Cute Meet”

It was such a whim at the time; it’s almost comical to see what it has become. A friend says she needs a buddy to try out this new gym, there’s a Groupon/Coupon/LivingSocial/SuperDeal that will make it worth my while, and the gym is in my old neck-of-the-woods…I couldn’t refuse. Then I walk into a garage full of weights dropping, music pumping, and scores on the wall…needless to say, I was out my element.

But the voice inside said,

“Remember that crap you learned about not judging others upon first glance? Rachel it’s not crap, it’s the way to live an honest, balanced, respectful life.  Yeah, yeah…”

YAMA - Ahimsa:  Non-violence, non-injury. Kindness and non-violence towards all living things; it respects living beings as a unity, the belief that all living things are connected.

After I was done talking to myself, my group did some basic training with PVC pipe (so a girl like me doesn’t break herself) and was put through a workout of burpees, wallballs and box jumps that I thought might kill me. But unlike the warnings I was given about the aggression I would find there, not once through the entire work out was I yelled at, made to feel inadequate, or pushed beyond my limits. The Strapping, Young Trainer—Tommy—watched us closely and even provided some personalized advice when I told him about an old hip injury.  The greatest thing, however, happened afterward. Everyone was smiling! They were out of breath, yes… but feeling completely awesome. It seemed like the room was filled with people learning something new about themselves and they loved it.

NIYAMA - Svadhyaya: Self-education, education of the Self, which leads to introspection on a greater awakening to the soul and God within.

Then across the box (yes, I’ve learned it’s called the “box”), where the seasoned CrossFitters were doing the actual WOD, words of encouragement came flying in our direction! I’m fairly certain I was given six high-fives and by the end of that hour, I’d made three promises to come back the next day feeling utterly content.

NIYAMA - Santosha: Satisfaction; satisfied with what one has; contentment.

So, I know what you’re saying: I see you putting Yoga in the CrossFit…now how does one get CrossFit in the Yoga? Well once Strapping Young Trainer Tommy and Spunky Fit Trainer Maggie mentioned trying a yoga class that was all I needed. I’ll admit my heart sank as those first classes were lightly attended, but I had to trust that the proof would be in the pudding once people were willing to do as I did on my first day and leave their pre-existing fears at the door.

NIYAMA - Ishvarapranidhana: Surrender of the ego, connecting to the divine within. It is about the quality of intention that we bring to our actions.

The reality arrived during a class of just me and four fellas (two of which were completely new to yoga). A day when we all could have succumbed to our self-conscious moments, but instead we laughed, gave some awkward sighs and finished up with a blissful relaxation. Later that week, two of those fine gentlemen shared how they looked up yoga poses to do at home between classes because they were feeling the difference. (Let’s just say, I walked with a little more bounce in my step that day!)

The Future

I can honestly see it in myself as well as in my students. The flexibility offered by incorporating yoga more regularly can make all the difference in the WOD.  Think about the ease with which you guide your body through a Power Snatch or a Clean & Jerk after practicing your breathing through a Sun Salutation. Balance becomes second nature no matter how much weight you add when you master Natarajasana, Dancer Pose. And I can assure you that NO ONE will complain about adding that final yoga pose, Savanasa, into their weekly (preferably daily) routine.

“By becoming more aware of your body, it becomes much easier to find ways to help your body function better both in and out of the gym. Yoga is a great compliment to your CrossFit workout. It can help you bring your workouts to the next level, at the same time it will help reduce stress, calm the mind and release your body “ – crossfityoga.com³

Together, CrossFit and Yoga are the perfect pair; complementing each other in their differences while maintaining similar purpose.

NIYAMA - Tapas: Austerity, self-discipline, burning desire, motivation, dedication.

****

xoxox, Rachel

¹ Tim Huntley, “CrossFit and Yoga – Yin and Yang,” http://myathleticlife.com/2011/12/crossfit-yoga-definition-yin-yang/

² William J.D. Doran, “The Eight Limbs, the Core of Yoga,” http://www.expressionsofspirit.com/yoga/eight-limbs.htm

³ CrossFitYoga.com - Courtesy of CrossFitWorks.com

I Have a Confession to Make...

I have bad knees…and a weak hip. Thyroid problems run in my family and my immune system reacts poorly to a laundry list of medications.  Growing up, I had crap self-esteem and a heavy physique.  I teach yoga and meditate, but sometimes I swear like a sailor. Buffalo sauce is my kryptonite and--more often than not--I push myself to the limit because I’m an overachiever.

And three weeks ago, I quit drinking coffee.

Being Pretty is in no way being perfect. That’s boring and dated and blah. So with that imperfection, I have my ups and my downs—those good days and bad—and I’m not always on my best behavior. But I know that my health and my well-being are paramount. I can’t take care of others (even the cats!) if I’m not taking care of myself! But I come from a long historical line of women who put themselves last in order to “better” the world for others. HOGWASH! CODSWALLOP! BOULDER DASH, I say! We shouldn’t be waiting until we are diagnosed to take charge…but if that was your wake-up call: GOOD. Put yourself in the driver’s seat of your own cross-country road trip to wellness. This is the time people, I promise you.

But I digress…because today I’m making confession. My weight had always been my gripe. When I was at my heaviest to the days of Healthy, Pretty, SEXY numbers on that scale…there would always be that twinge of fear in the back of my mind, “what happens if/when I gain?” And then the inner conversation starts:

“But I’m doing everything right…”

“...I changed my diet completely...”

“...I exercise every day.”

These were proven facts of my own awesomeness, yet I would turn them around to find a way to make myself not good enough: excuses to binge, to cry, to watch old episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer over and over and over again. Soon enough, I’d be in a ball on the couch having my third serving of who-knows-what because it just feels so darn good.

10 minutes into that feeling good….it feels awful.

This was my spiral. The path I was ALLOWING myself to take by blaming the world, the exercise, or the food for my own pitfalls. How was I ever going to really confront what was going on inside (mind and body) and move beyond that heartbreak, if I always allowed myself to take the easy way out. I wasn’t taking charge of my life; I was running from the responsibility of it.

Luckily sometimes, it all just clicks.

Deprivation is not a form of caring.

Over-exercising DJ-Tanner-style-to-look-like-magazine-models is not loving yourself. (Yes, that was a "Full House ref.)

Eating to fill a criterion instead of fuel and fulfill your body is NONSENSE.

So taking the time to learn about what I was putting in my body, what was coming out (yeah, I mean poop) and how all of that was FULFILLING my needs. I won’t lie…the smell of a mile-high plate of Buffalo Wings still lures my brain to those dark evil places of salty goodness—but when I break those bad boys down in my mind and I see what’s really going into my body…it slaps me back to reality before I choose between ranch and bleu cheese.

Thus brings us to today, my Pretties…the time that I gave up coffee.

A crutch I’ve held on to for a long, long, long time. But with the stress of a new job, moving, general life nonsense, my GI tract started hinting that something needed to change, and that change needed to begin with ditching my java dependency. (This point of clarity was kicked into overdrive when fellow Pretty Girl Jaclyn gave it to me straight!) I will admit, there were three days of wicked migraines that I never want to experience again as my body began to flush out the excess toxins. I still have to keep herbal tea and a butt-load of water on me at all times in case that café-con-leche vixen comes sauntering up to me unawares. But it’s about making choices, right? It’s about being the one who is in control.

"I don't need coffee!"

The headaches are gone. I’m not taking part in calories that I obviously didn’t need.  I don’t drink soda or other evil-goody-drinks, so I have completely cut out those burn-out sugar lows mid-day because there’s no caffeine/sucrose/high fructose catalyst. Challenging myself to chug those last ounces of water before I refill the bottle is enough of a jolt for me. But I will reiterate that “deprivation is not a form of caring.” If a Sunday morning comes where my husband and I are getting snugged up for the morning, he whips out the French press and my heart beats only for a Colombian roast: I won’t deny myself the pleasure…that would turn this choice back into a punishment. But maybe it’s half a cup…or possibly it’s a decaf blend that I snuck in the house when the hubs wasn’t looking. (shhhhhh!)

The choices don’t stop when you decide to get healthy.

The choices don’t stop when you slip up.

The choices don’t stop when you reach your “goal.”

The choices are constant...and they are yours always. Isn’t that amazing?!

xoxox, Rachel